"From 18 to 22 you meet a lot of temporary people."
1. Find three hobbies you love: one to make you money, one to keep you in shape, and one to be creative.
2. Getting a degree matters, but getting the right degree matters even more.
3. Leave every job you have on good terms. Do not burn your bridges.
4. See the world while you still don’t have a ton of responsibilities.
5. Don’t live on the Internet. Go out and experience real life.
6. Don’t give up what you want most for what you want now.
7. Read. A lot.
8. Dress to impress.
9. Never pinch pennies on brakes or tires.
10. Never stop learning
11. Marry someone you consider your best friend.
12. All adventures in life start by just showing up.
13. Drama is never worth putting up with.
14. Value experiences over possessions.
15. Drive slow in bad weather.
16. Money comes and goes. Time just goes.
17. Don’t judge yourself on your intentions but your actions.
18. Always make new mistakes.
19. Don’t rely on other people to make you happy.
20. Bite less, chew more.
"Be careful who you shares your weaknesses with. Some people can’t wait for the opportunity to use them against you."
Lessons Learned in Life (via psych-facts)
1. Look sharp – inside and out. This goes for your website design, how you dress, your business card or whatever – if it represents you, be sure you’re proud of it. There’s a reason why studies have proven that people will follow a man in a suit as he jaywalks across a street much more often than they will a guy in a tattered pair of shorts. I’m not saying dress like a banker – in fact don’t do that. Just have some internal and external self respect.
2. Be credible, believable and trustworthy. Hang around people you’re proud of. Do things you’re proud of. The first thing everyone does when they get an email or request from a stranger is Google them to check out your site and work. Who have you worked with? What do you stand for? This is a quick make or break. A good image and right people in your corner screams credibility. For most of us this means a website that looks like we actually give a sh*t about what we’re doing. David has absolutely nailed this over the past few years with his interview show.
You’re either seen as an “up and comer” or as “amateur hour”. There is no middle ground. You decide.
3. Start with the people you already know. There are cold contacts (who you don’t know and don’t know you) and there are warm ones. Start with those you have some connection to. Friends, friends of friends, family friends, professors, local business owners, past employers – whoever you can. Meet with them first. Practice and build up your confidence, story and style with those you’re comfortable with before going big time.
David’s first interview was a local bar owner friend of his, and Larry King did his first 100+ interviews/meetings by sitting at the local diner and asking to interview anyone who came through the door. This also helps build up your “Credibility Portfolio” so the cold contacts can see who you’ve been associating with. Starting warm is HUGE. Especially for confidence building. We talk about this a lot in Connect with Anyone.
4. Ask for a referral. This is what starts to get you in front of a lot of interesting people. Never leave an interaction without getting the name of one person they think you should meet. Be specific about what you’re looking for. If you say “If you know anyone else I should meet with, let me know…” or “could you help help me come up with 10 other people to meet,” you’ll get nowhere. Only ask for one. Two at the max. No more. Soon enough you’ll have more contacts than you know what to do with. Btw, nothing screams credibility and trust louder than a trusted friend recommending you. Pure gold.
5. Leverage the “Give Back Factor”. Carol Roth, bestselling author of The Entrepreneur Equation, says there are three types of inquiries she says yes to: From big media, friends and random people she feels are actually out to make a difference. Successful people (or anyone) can tell in a heartbeat if you’re out to make the world better or if you’re just looking to selfishly get ahead. Be the person who is out to make a difference and people above you will want to give back & support your cause.
6. Make contact & be everywhere. Reach out on all platforms. Start with their personal website, even if it’s just a contact form. That’s how David reached FUBU founder and ABC Shark Tank star Daymond John. Reach out on all social media platforms. Your name starts to stand out and it shows you care. Facebook messages sometimes work better than email – a little less businessy. But do them all.
If you don’t have their email then send a Tweet like this “Congrats on what you’ve built. I’d love to [have you on my show—insert your own benefit driven request]. What’s the best email to contact you?” People respond more than you’d think – as long as you don’t talk yourself out of sending the first message! And don’t forget the phone. Most are too scared to call. Be the one willing to dial it up old school.
7. Get advanced. Use the free service HARO (Help a Reporter Out) as the reporter to find experts, use paid services like WhoRepresents?com and IMDbPro to get in touch with publicists of the uber famous.
8. Befriend their assistant. The assistant is the ultimate gatekeeper. No calendar is impossible to get on if the righthand man or woman likes you. I’ve gotten to know Warren Buffett’s assistant Debbie pretty well over the years ;).
9. Send the all too rare hand-written letter. People love getting mail. And a nice card stands out WAY better than a clever email subject line among hundreds of others. Buy a pack of fifty personal stationary cards and start sending. Response rates are often much higher than electronic.
10. Nail the timing. Time your request with their book, product, movie or season launch and help them get the word out. People love being promoted. Timing is everything. That’s how David got Seth Godin on his show – twice. In the heart of two book launches.
11. Make it easy. Don’t ask for some huge response. Give them a prepaid addressed envelope to respond to you and maybe even throw in a two-dollar bill (the added smile and reciprocity might help), or a simple question to answer. I once wanted a response from Seth Godin for a post. He said he was too busy. So instead I found my favorite quote of his, sent it back to him, and asked if I could use it. He had enough time to say yes. This is why interviews are so powerful. All they have to do is show up in front of a webcam for 20-30 minutes. No prep. No extra time. Don’t make ‘em work. Instead, throw a party!
12. Brevity wins. Max 5-10 line email to get your point across- ideally much less. Don’t over-explain or build yourself up too much. Just offer value. Btw, as part of David’s Create Awesome Interviews course, he has the exact email templates and scripts he uses to land the biggest guests. No sense in reinventing the wheel. Oh and if you can’t tell, I’m still working on my brevity – Do as I say not as I do :).
13. Follow up. Don’t confuse ‘not now’ with ‘no’. People are busy. If you care enough you will follow up. It took David 2.5 yrs to interview Tim Ferriss. Every time his assistant told him to check back in six months, he’d set a calendar reminder to follow up exactly then. Who does that?
14. Deliver. Do what you say. Deliver on time. Don’t wait six months to publish an interview, guest post or send a gift. Do it today or latest next week.
15. Do it because you care. Don’t publish their ideas and beg for them to promote and share it (never once in 300+ interviews has David asked that they promote his work). You did this to help them, not you. Act like it. The favor almost always comes full circle.
emotional abuse is when someone does something to hurt you, and when you express your feelings, that you’re upset, they turn it around to be something you did to hurt them and they force you to apologize for it, and your feelings, like always, are rendered invalid and silenced, forever damaging the ability to trust others with your feelings because they always are used against you.
With le homie
For the millionth time. I’m asexual.